[Maybe you've finally managed to lock your teacher-turned-husband in the toilet and have claimed an afternoon to yourself. Maybe you want an afternoon snack. Or maybe its lunch time and you missed breakfast you shit. Either way, when Mikoto saunters out into the kitchen to peruse the fridge, he's going to notice very, very quickly that there's something awry.
It's not just that the fridge door is open a crack. Or necessarily that there's a hairy crack peeking out from the space (and time).
But there's snoring and sleep talk....?]
Mmm, Otae-san...Aikuro-san...give me more...look, my jaw's very powerful! Give it to me...give me...the zzzzzzz....peanut butter...
[do you A. Run away B. Call the police) C. Burn down the house or D. Poke it with a stick?]
[ He hated this house. God, did he hate this house. There he was, standing there in the doorway of the kitchen and just staring. Yes, it was true that he could walk right back out and leave it alone, but he'd rather march over and plant a foot on Kondo's ass. ]
[ He's waiting for Kondo to spring out of the fridge any time now like when they discussed it over beer, but when he doesn't hear it and hear something else, he decides to make the best of it.
The cabinets burst open, and out pops Aikuro, totally shirtless, and totally glittering. ]
[A strangled yelp rips out of Kondo's mouth, and though Mikorin can't see it, when his head hits the back of the fridge, one of the shelves that's folded up in there, a most embarrassing...gross look on his face takes over.
He snorts--]
Mmmm-mmmm...Otae-san, please, not so rough...maybe a little rougher, actually. I didn't realize you were so big and flat flooted...
[His cheeks are tinting pink.
And not the ass ones.
It might be time to flip the fridge over?
Oh, but the shout, that familiar shout, has Kondo shifting around and snorting, clearly about to awaken--]
[ Mikoto didn't even really have a chance to react to that look on Kondo's face, instead whipping around with a screech as Aikuro popped out of the cabinet. There was a yelp of a scream as he backed up and ran right into Kondo; not caring what he was up against for that brief moment. ]
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE...
[ He was glittering? Had he always glittered? Mikoto had never really looked at him long enough to tell. ]
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPARKLING AND WHO IS THIS FREAK IN THE FRIDGE?!
[ Instantly, Aikuro starts laughing, putting his hands on his hips. At least he had some pants on, right? But those nip-nops— they were glistening like the sun. ]
Hahaha— got you! We got you— [ pause ] I got you really good!
[Snorting and snuffling, he jerks awake immediately when something Enters the Shadow of his behind; that aura is mostly innocent, he can sense. He takes a moment to let the shouts and laughter wash over him as he remembers just what the fuck is going on--]
Ooooi, did you know your filter is dirty back here? I didn't do anything to it at all. I didn't spill nacho cheese in here at all. But you need to do something about it.
Right outta your skin! Kyaaaaaaa, you're practically all bones now, we got you so good! It's a good look though, I guess...I mean yeah! What about his chest? It's nostalgic, right?
[still giggling, giggling grossly, please stop, he shifts around again, intending to pop out of the fridge, but he stops. The next time he speaks, his voice comes out strained.]
[ nost...algic. Aikuro doesn't even know the answer to this one. Usually he can decipher what Kondo is talking about in his way of talking but this one... this one is a mystery. ]
Oh. He probably got stuck. I knew something like this might happen. Kondo, you can't stay stuck in the fridge! You might make the meat or something go bad.
[ And so, he asserts himself to the fridge, ready to assist. ]
I might need your help here. He's not the scrawniest guy.
[ what a beautiful morning it is isn't it Mikoshiba-kun. ]
Th-that's not true at all! And my muscles are what dreams are made of, I don't have to be scrawny! There's already lots of characters like that. I'll prove it, I'm cool, everything's good!
[There's a telltale sniffle and Kondo is perfectly still for a moment. Then he starts to rock the fridge back and forth, somehow this proves he's fine? That his muscles are sleek and not bulky or anything!!
It's when his chilly sanctuary almost tips over that he stops, sniffling again]
My muscles are sleek...its the suit that's got me messed up. By the way, there's no meat left in here. It's in the freezer part and also you're out of sandwich stuff? Thought I should mention.
[ It was with a heavy sigh that Mikoto made his way to the opposite side of Kondo, shooting a look at Aikuro. Blinded by glowing nipples and irritated by the fact that some gorilla almost overturned the fridge, he couldn't help himself. ]
No one cares about your shitty muscles, just admit it if you're stuck!!
[ Aikuro cracks his knuckles and approaches the fridge, but then stops. ... There really isn't anything he can do the more he takes a look at this. Not without something else. ]
Mikoshiba-kun, get the dish detergent. We probably need to slick this thing up. [ or call an ambulance. Thankfully he isn't glowing anymore? That's.... that's good. ]
You should care about my sleek muscles, sleek! You said it wrong! You're confused with all this excitement and also hunger, probably! How's your blood pressure?
[more sniffling and wiggling ensues. a bead of sweat drips down his ample crack....they are really in for it]
Are you going to clean me, oi? Don't they usually use butter in the movies? Am I so cheap...? Hmph.
[ And a pull from this side too, he hopes he rips some of those hairs out, Kondo. That's what you get for stowing yourself in his fridge! There was a look down at the gorilla and then at Aikuro. ]
...what were you guys trying to accomplish, anyway? How is this even a prank?
[LOL JOKE'S ON YOU, MIKORIN, YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE WITH ASSHAIR STUCK IN YOUR FRIDGE, WITH ROOT ATTACHED so unless you wanna clone him.......side eyes]
[just sucking it in and wiggling and shoving big shoulders into the side of the fridge. Together the three of them rock the entire goddamn thing, the noise should probably be enough to bother the neighbors]
NO YOU DIDN'T! You laughed and said okay, that's a good idea, don't eat my activia! You said it! It's on record! And anyway, it would've been cooler if you hadn't messed up our time. What were you doing, anyway?!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(backdated april fools) actio...n..? happ late april fools
It's not just that the fridge door is open a crack. Or necessarily that there's a hairy crack peeking out from the space (and time).
But there's snoring and sleep talk....?]
Mmm, Otae-san...Aikuro-san...give me more...look, my jaw's very powerful! Give it to me...give me...the zzzzzzz....peanut butter...
[do you A. Run away
B. Call the police)
C. Burn down the house
or D. Poke it with a stick?]
LMFAO kondo?????
Oi, what the hell are you doing in my fridge?!
happy april fools my wife
The cabinets burst open, and out pops Aikuro, totally shirtless, and totally glittering. ]
APRIL FOOLS, MIKOSHIBA-KUN!!!
sry but not
He snorts--]
Mmmm-mmmm...Otae-san, please, not so rough...maybe a little rougher, actually. I didn't realize you were so big and flat flooted...
[His cheeks are tinting pink.
And not the ass ones.
It might be time to flip the fridge over?
Oh, but the shout, that familiar shout, has Kondo shifting around and snorting, clearly about to awaken--]
is this the real life
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE...
[ He was glittering? Had he always glittered? Mikoto had never really looked at him long enough to tell. ]
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SPARKLING AND WHO IS THIS FREAK IN THE FRIDGE?!
is this just fantasy
Hahaha— got you! We got you—
[ pause ]
I got you really good!
or a fanta sea
Ooooi, did you know your filter is dirty back here? I didn't do anything to it at all. I didn't spill nacho cheese in here at all. But you need to do something about it.
[a pause]
We both got you really good! We got youuuuu!
both are possible options
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR C-CHEST?? WHY IS IT DOING THAT THING?????
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We got you! We pranked you really hard, Mikoshiba=kun. You jumped out of your skin and it was hilarious!
Was it good or was it good? Be honest, here.
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[still giggling, giggling grossly, please stop, he shifts around again, intending to pop out of the fridge, but he stops. The next time he speaks, his voice comes out strained.]
.....Uhhhh guys.
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[ Asked as he turns to face Kondo, that strained voice particularly distressing after all this. Less than five minutes and everything had exploded. ]
What??
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Oh. He probably got stuck. I knew something like this might happen.
Kondo, you can't stay stuck in the fridge! You might make the meat or something go bad.
[ And so, he asserts himself to the fridge, ready to assist. ]
I might need your help here. He's not the scrawniest guy.
[ what a beautiful morning it is isn't it Mikoshiba-kun. ]
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[There's a telltale sniffle and Kondo is perfectly still for a moment. Then he starts to rock the fridge back and forth, somehow this proves he's fine? That his muscles are sleek and not bulky or anything!!
It's when his chilly sanctuary almost tips over that he stops, sniffling again]
My muscles are sleek...its the suit that's got me messed up. By the way, there's no meat left in here. It's in the freezer part and also you're out of sandwich stuff? Thought I should mention.
[he deff didn't eat it ok]
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No one cares about your shitty muscles, just admit it if you're stuck!!
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...
There really isn't anything he can do the more he takes a look at this. Not without something else. ]
Mikoshiba-kun, get the dish detergent. We probably need to slick this thing up.
[ or call an ambulance.
Thankfully he isn't glowing anymore? That's.... that's good. ]
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[more sniffling and wiggling ensues. a bead of sweat drips down his ample crack....they are really in for it]
Are you going to clean me, oi? Don't they usually use butter in the movies? Am I so cheap...? Hmph.
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[ A huff. ]
And I meant shitty muscles, shitty!! MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS JUST FINE!!
[ He'll get you out of the fridge if it kills him. A dirty look toward Aikuro. ]
You grab that side, I'll get this one!
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Kondo, you should suck it all in if you can and we're going to pull you out, okay?
[ An he does grab a hold of his friend's waist from one side, nodding at Mikorin to alo do the same. ]
On number three, okay!
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[he's still sniffling, but he heeds these instructions]
I'll have you know this is still all muscle, I can't just suck it in-- I'll suck the fur in though...
Wait, on your three or mine?
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[ What did he ever do to deserve this nightmare?? ]
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[ Aikuro tightens his grip on Kondo and counts. ]
One... two... three!
[ HEAAAAAAVES. ]
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[that's all he has time for because then there's this uncomfortable pulling and is this how a buttcrack feels when it-
nevermind
he does indeed suck it in and wiggles, straining and also trying not to strain too much]
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...what were you guys trying to accomplish, anyway? How is this even a prank?
[ Other than the nearly naked part. ]
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[ PULLING. TUGGING. ]
Ah. Well. We were going to jump out and surprise you! In unison, I mean. You know-- if he hadn't gotten stuck.
Kondo! I told you the fridge was a bad idea!
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[just sucking it in and wiggling and shoving big shoulders into the side of the fridge. Together the three of them rock the entire goddamn thing, the noise should probably be enough to bother the neighbors]
NO YOU DIDN'T! You laughed and said okay, that's a good idea, don't eat my activia! You said it! It's on record! And anyway, it would've been cooler if you hadn't messed up our time. What were you doing, anyway?!
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